Episode IV: A New Hope (in a jar) - part 1

Re-posting this from Thena's blog. three things: a) quit rubbing it in that I'm half-mortal. We with longevity are sensitive about it, you immortal jerks. We have naturally thinner skin than you. b) This does not bode well. c) I never understood why hope was in a jar with all these other horrible things, unless it is ultimately the worst of all?

-Dionysus

Episode IV: A New Hope (in a jar) - part 1

Quick update: I'm exhausted so excuse the brevity. Eternal youth does not come with eternal energy, sad to note. I dropped Hera back in Seattle. Hades is near-recovered and awaiting news on our escapees, and Artemis vanished shortly after we discovered all those footprints.

I arrived in New Hope, PA this morning. I am quite concerned so I wanted to give you guys an update. On a hunch, I stopped to check on Pandora. Her pottery shop is closed and looking in a window it looks like a small tornado went off in there (that is an analogy, not literal, people. I don't think, anyways). All her jars are smashed to bits. There's a note saying it's closed. I've been asking around town to see what's up but no news yet. I'll scope out her apartment after dark.

If there was ever a more likely candidate to have released all the immortal things that go bump in the night... And Epimetheus was her husband, remember. Maybe that's too literal. I hope it's too literal. As far as I know she, like Dionysus, has only longevity, not immortality, and I'd hate to... well, you know the rest.

-Athena

Two Ladies Head to Hades

Got this from Athena this afternoon

-Dionysus

"This has been a crazy 24 hours, so bear with me as I ramble:

Hera and I pulled into picturesque Glennallen, Alaska yesterday afternoon. We could get no closer to the affected town itself (Copper Center, a bit south) so all we really learned was hearsay. That it all went down last weekend, that the paralysis affected everyone in town, but in varying degrees. Some less sever cases have already recovered, and claim to remember nothing, except two children going on about monsters. This has the populace somewhat shook up, but as is human nature denial has already started to take over. Reports of deaths from the unexplained paralysis are estimated from 4 to 12. The officials and doctors are not talking.

Speculation by the mortals centers around terrorism and biological contaminants. Hera thinks this is quite possibly valid, and it could have nothing to do with us and ours, or one of them could’ve developed a bioweapon. Since there are no reports of burns, I am kind of ruling out lightning. I have the old astrape, but almost anyone with thick enough ichor could wield a new and improved version, for sure.

The strategist in me thinks this may be diversionary. And that bigger trouble is to come very soon.

After sunset, we head off to Tartarus via ATV, Epimetheus in tow, in two. This was such such a pain, I almost woke him up for the trip, just to put him back in his nap upon arrival. This caused Hera to point out I could’ve done that all along and we could’ve flown up here. She just doesn’t understand justice.

As soon as we set off I had a feeling we were being followed. Seeing as I can’t die, I never understood the need for sneakiness. What are you gonna do? Waste my time? I got plenty.

Tartarus was as abandoned as Epimetheus said. However we were clearly not the first to arrive to investigate. Hades was there, unconscious with a near-healed neck wound. Someone reattached his head, and not long ago. He hadn’t been napping long so we figured he’d be awake before long.

The overall damage seemed not nearly as bad as we’d feared. Maybe 20 empty cages. No real structural damage. They were all simply released.

So we decided to end the nonsense of whoever was (still) following us. Together Hera and I set a simple, strong snare. We then staged a large fight intended to lure the predator into thinking us separated and weak. I stormed off angrily and loudly… and promptly fell in a nasty trou de loup. She got me with a fucking tiger pit-I was stunned. Hera came rushing out and tripped a (admittedly much nicer than our effort) snare which caught her squarely in the neck. We were just getting into blaming each other when the master hunter herself strolled out of the forest, laughing.

Artemis is doing no better than last I saw her, though no worse either. As she freed us, in between the mumbling and incoherency, I did make out bits about how we never recognize her skills but that “the fake fight was a nice touch. Very realistic” Ah well, to be recognized by the best.

As is her way, she fell silent and simply shared with us a lovely bear meat supper. Pointing out her stylish bearskin “attire” if I could call it that. Though to be fair to her I see girls in New York out in public wearing much less.

Sated with bellies full of bear we slept until the crack of dawn when Artie woke us babbling about Hades. He was conscious but couldn’t speak yet.

Here comes the bad news, folks. He was gesturing and grunting and we eventually figured out he meant us to find a door in the floor. Which we did, and went down to level two of Tartarus. 30 more empty cages. And 4 additional stories below it, which we soon confirmed were all empty as well. The long hallway to a large hole in a back wall showed us this depressing sight, in every direction, to every point on the horizon:

-Athena"